Port Veritas: Day 4

Today, we had the whole group back together for our period 2, AP English, writing workshop.  The senior who workshopped with Nate, Beau, and Robin shared the poem he workshopped yesterday and got feedback from the rest of the group.  The poem changed in meaningful ways since the last workshop, and it was a treat to hear the poem's implied metaphor from classmates.

Each student stood in front of their workshop table and read their favorite of the two writing prompts they received on Tuesday.

Samples from today's metaphor poems.  Some students chose to type or hand-write their copies.

Here are some of the topics workshopped today by our student writers:
1) One student wrote about time, aging, and decay using the image of chipped nail polish.  At the end of the poem, the word had a double meaning and "polish" became a representation of the polish of youth.

2) Another student shared a poem about "Otto," a dog who experiences loss and excitement as their owner comes and leaves.  Because the image was so easy to understand, we discussed the poem's metaphor as separation anxiety and loss.

3) A third student wrote about a tree that starts as a seedling and grows into a lush tree.  One of my favorite lines was this one: "Eventually the tiny tree / Has grown into a lush one / yielding more fruit than Eden."  The author wanted to convey a message of growth even with limitations that keep something from growing.  Workshop members, however, thought it might be a metaphor for the growth one experiences in high school.


More workshopping tips from today:
1) Cut repetition for the sound of the poem.  For example, "Those cracks and those chips" could be "Those cracks and chips."  It sounds better and has a clearer meaning.

2) You don't have to start poems with word banks.  In fact, you can do a free write on a topic, image, object, or idea, and go back and do a word bank.  When we heard about the tree that yielded "more fruit than Eden," for example, we discussed making a word bank about Eden so that the biblical imagery could appear elsewhere in the poem.

3) Write with confidence! We talked a little bit about this yesterday, but I think the discussion today was even more helpful.  Phrases such as, "almost like," should be, "like," to create authority in the writing.

Tomorrow, we will focus on speaking and reading poetry out loud to wrap things up.

Port Verits: Day 3 (9th/10th grade)

Beau Williams reading one of his many awesome poetry slam-winning poems.

Our second high school workshop today began with a real treat: original metaphor and persona poems by Beau Williams and Nate Amadan.

Then, several students shared their metaphor writing prompts from last night.  One student wrote about a leaf leaving a tree, which represented individuals following their dreams.  Another wrote about glasses, which represented  a metaphor for how we treat our friends, parents, or loved ones.

After we shared with the class, we broke into small groups (5 students, 1 poet each) and everyone shared their work.

Group 1 workshopping with Beau Williams (right).

Group 2 workshopping with Nate Amadan (left).

Group 3 workshopping with Robin Merrill.

Tomorrow, students will pick up where they left off and bring in revised copies of the work they did today.

Port Veritas: Poetry Workshop Day 3

One of our seniors working with Port Veritas poets Nate and Beau.

Unlike Day 1 and Day 2 of this week's poetry workshops, today we started with a new poet, Beau Williams, and only one student in Period 2!

It was amazing.

How often does a young writer get to work with three professional creative writers workshopping his/her own work one-on-one?

Our lucky senior started by sharing last night's writing prompt (see here).  He chose to write about the smell, feel, and experience of working down at the Vinalhaven Fishermen's Co-Op.

The poem was filled with lovely phrases like "the smell of ocean and pennies" to describe the foulness of bait.

Speared bait bags (photo © by Helana Brigman, 2012.)

Some workshopping tips:
1) Play around with a thesaurus.
2) Circle all of the adjectives in your poem and try another one.  See if you like it more.
3) Beau: "give the words the power they deserve.  Confidence is key."

4) Think about the distinction between words.  What do you mean when you say "life" versus "livelihood?"

5) Trim it up: "Rotten fish may just seem like rotten fish / but to the fishermen it's their livelihood" is much more powerful, punchy, and meaningful when condensed to "Rotten fish may seem like rotten fish / but it's their livelihood."

One definition of a metaphor Beau recently heard at a play: "Trying to say one thing by saying something completely different without lying."

Senior student reading poem.

What was great about today is that our student had a lot more voice in how his poem was workshopped.  Because he was talking with Robin, Nate, and Beau one-on-one, he got really comfortable talking frankly about how he was editing and revising his work.  My favorite moment was when our student writer said, "I don't want to criticize you on my own poem...but..." and told Port Veritas's founder, Nate, that he had made an error when reading his poem.  Of course, Nate was very apologetic, but it highlighted the democratizing effect of a poetry workshop.  Student writers, although growing, really do become poets.