Business Writing: Adjusting Your Tone (Cover Letters)

In yesterday's class, we looked at pgs. 232-33 in your copies of Technical Communication and discussed the importance of tone in the cover letters we are writing.

Here is what we learned:

Tone will always depend on—

1. "the distance between you...and the reader" (basically, how well you know your reader); and
2. "the attitude you show towards the subject" (232).

Our cover letters should have—

1. a consistent tone;
2. a formal (professional) tone;
3. a positive, energetic tone; and
4. an active voice.

For example, when you say, "Management responsibilities were given to me," you are making your subject ("responsibilities") your direct object.  It's the the thing receiving the action.

But if you make a simple change to your sentence, such as, "I assumed management responsibilities," you are making yourself the subject ("I") and "responsibilities" the direct object.

Looking at the cover letters you revised for today, please pick one sentence that was written in the passive voice and post it in the comments section below.  Respond to your classmates' comments by revising their sentences and putting them in the active voice. Explain why you think the sentence is better.